Best Mustaches in Sports – The All Time Top 12

Boston’s beards may have stolen the headlines in October, but come Movember, mustaches reign supreme. This annual, month-long celebration is of course to raise awareness for prostate cancer and other men’s health initiatives.
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These 12 athletes have definitely done their part (or for some, could have done their part, had Movember been a thing in the past) to spread awareness with their outstanding lip dusters.

Best Mustaches in Professional Sports – Past & Present

12. John Axford

One of the standard-bearers for the moustachioed modern athlete, MLB reliever John Axford’s mustache is so remarkable that he won the American Mustache Institute’s (yes, it’s a thing!) Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year Award for 2011.  Appalled that Axford won despite him actually being Canadian? Then bring your complaints up to his ‘stach itself on Twitter: @JohnAxfordStach

11. Carlos Valderrama

Thanks to David Beckham and Cristiano Ronaldo, the modern-day soccer player is typecast as a clean-cut, clean-shaven pretty boy. But back in the day, dudes like Carlos Valderamma showed just how rugged a soccer player can be. His more famous follicles are found on his head via his blonde afro, but his accompanying mustache has always been part of the signature look.

10. Larry Bird

Larry Bird has some pretty awesome nicknames (“Larry Legend”, “Basketball Jesus”), but the most apt may be “The Hick from French Lick”. Yes, it’s a little offensive to the basketball great, but from his appearance alone – honestly, it’s the goofy blonde mustache that puts it over the top – it looks pretty fitting. Just don’t make the mistake of challenging this particular hick to any form of a shoot-out.

9. Dale Earnhardt

The late, great Dale Earnhardt’s signature ‘stache may be similar to one your dad may have grown. If only your dad were a badass race car driver who could drive the family minivan or station wagon at speeds of over 200 miles per hour (which is exactly the case for Dale Jr.).

8. Clyde Frazier

One of the most fashionable athletes of all-time, Clyde would not only draw envious stares on the basketball court with his dazzling talent, but he would also attract glances on the streets with his unique style. Essential to this style was his all-world facial hair, from the grown out sideburns to the very stylin’ mustache, which no doubt tickled a lip or two in its day.

7. Aaron Rodgers

You know how some very brilliant minds (Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, etc.) sometimes have certain eccentricities to their personalities which allow them to be great? Maybe that’s the case with former NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers and growing mustaches, because that’s honestly the only logical explanation for his very weird facial hair growing choices.

6. Lanny McDonald

Could there be a better fit than Lanny McDonald and the Calgary Flames? Not in terms of scheme or strategy, but simply aesthetics. Thanks to his flaming red mustache, (seriously, that thing’s a fire hazard!) McDonald’s upper lip looked like it was perpetually burning during his playing days. And it went pretty well with Calgary’s red sweaters.

5. Hulk Hogan

Arguably professional wrestling’s most recognizable face wouldn’t be complete without its signature blonde handlebar. What’s that? Not a real professional athlete, you say? Don’t you dare say that to the Real American’s face, lest you want Hulkamania to RUN WILD. ON. YOUUUU!!!

4. Adam Morrison

Sure, Adam Morrison’s basketball career ended way too early, but we will always have those eight years’ worth of glorious mustache pictures from Gonzaga and the NBA. Would he rather be sporting some more rugged facial hair, like say, Karl Malone? Probably. But then again, the Mailman  wouldn’t mind having at least half of Morrison’s two (!!!) NBA Championship rings either.

3. Goose Gossage

The Goose’s Fu Manchu is more than just a patch of expertly groomed facial hair; it is a shining symbol of the working man’s God-given right to stick it to The Man/The Boss and come out on top. Not even George Steinbrenner himself can tell Goose or any man what he can or cannot grow on his face. God bless you, Goose, and everything your fu Manchu stands for!

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2. Mark Spitz

Seeing Mark Spitz’s famous photo posing with his then-record seven Olympic gold medals, his Speedo and his majestic porn ‘stache is like looking at an aspiring adult film actor’s audition picture. Thankfully, Spitz never needed to enter that line of work because he was such a kick-ass swimmer. And if the medals weren’t enough to attract the ladies, the mustache most definitely was.

1. Rollie Fingers

Honestly, this work of art should be in the Louvre. Rollie’s exquisitely-sculpted mustache – one reminiscent of old-timey cartoon villains – instantly makes one wonder if he ties damsels to train tracks in his spare time. He didn’t, of course – he was just too busy tying major-league hitters up in his day job as a dominant Hall of Fame-calibre closer. And yet he still found all that time to groom his caterpillar. Amazing.

Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to share this post, tell us what you think and check out the sportsbook for lines and odds for all your favorite mustached athletes and their teams. Happy Movember everyone!

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