To the shock of absolutely no one, the Toronto council has finally passed the vote to strip Mayor Rob Ford of most of his mayoral powers. [sc:Other240banner ]
The term of the embattled Toronto mayor has been controversial to say the least, with allegations of conflict of interest in connection with Ford’s football foundation and more recently, substance abuse.
While these actions may not be fitting for an elected public servant of his position, they are still well within the standards of someone associated within the National Football League.
And because Ford – an avid football fan himself – will probably have a lot more free time on his hands with his reduced responsibilities, nothing’s stopping him from making it in the NFL. We think he’d fit right in, particularly in these positions.
Rob Ford’s Potential Positions in the NFL
1. Rob Ford, Star Quarterback
Just as EJ Manuel is finding out, footwork is a vital skill for an NFL quarterback. If Manuel can’t sort out his feet past his rookie season, maybe Ford should take a drive down to neighboring Buffalo and take a stab at the Bills’ starting quarterback job.
One thing’s for sure, you certainly won’t see footwork of Ford’s caliber in the NFL.
2. Rob Ford, Star Running Back
Ford may not have an Adrian Peterson-like 4.4 40, but who needs speed when you can be so elusive? Watch as he evades the swarm of pesky media with a purposeful scowl of grit and determination on his face.
Tell us again why the Atlanta Falcons haven’t signed him up yet? Injuries shouldn’t be a problem with flexibility like his:
3. Rob Ford, Sack King
NFL quarterbacks beware, because it seems Ford has finally discovered his true calling in life: pass rusher extraordinaire.
Honestly, we don’t know what took so long. Anyone who accelerates that rapidly and hits that ferociously would have been piling up double-digit sacks for years now.
Sure, his detractors will say that he only sacked a helpless old lady, but is it any different than having Brandon Weeden or Blaine Gabbert at quarterback? Thought so.
4. Rob Ford, Substance Abuser
Rob Ford’s substance abuse has been very well-publicized. He was charged with a DUI in Florida (which didn’t stop him from mocking a city councilllor). And he’s also admitted to smoking marijuana and crack cocaine.
Those would be frowned upon anywhere else, but not the NFL, where he’ll fit right in to its vice-rich culture. Prior DUI conviction? Join the club. Smoke pot? Half the NFL does too! Crackhead? Sam Hurd just got 15 years, but there’s bound to be another dealer in an NFL locker room somewhere to get Rob his fix.
[sc:Other490banner ]5. Rob Ford, Potty-Mouthed Umpire
If his playing career doesn’t pan out, Ford can still have a promising career in the NFL – as one of its brazenly outspoken, player-cursing umpires.
He’s obviously more than qualified, with skills from his day job: 1) As a public official, he’s used to people disagreeing with his decisions one way or the other, and 2) he has certainly had plenty of practice calling people “garbage-ass, disrespectful m—–f—–s” and other colorful phrases.
6. Rob Ford, Locker Room Bully
If the aforementioned point on the list doesn’t come through for Mayor Ford, he would probably be a sufficient replacement for this season’s favorite controversial big man in the NFL.
Mayor Ford is no stranger to uttering threats, and he certainly has the size to help stabilize the Miami Dolphins offensive line.
7. Rob Ford, Cheerleader
From all the negative publicity he has received lately, people have probably painted this picture of Rob Ford as a fairly angry and grumpy person. Yes, Ford has a nasty side, as we all do, but inside he also has the joy and grace that can be pretty infectious.
So if and when Ford is ready to rebuild his public persona, a spell on the sidelines as an NFL cheerleader could do just the trick.
8. Rob Ford, Owner/GM
If being the mayor of one of the biggest cities in the world couldn’t stop Rob Ford’s logic-defying errors in judgment, it’s scary to think what other mind-bending decisions he would make as an owner or general manager of an NFL team.
Ford has already shown how invested he is in his football team – like using public buses as shuttle services – to the detriment of his constituents. He could even sub in as coach once in a while – city council meetings be damned – with his experience in the cutthroat world of high school football. With that kind of commitment from an owner/GM, what could possibly go wrong?
9. Rob Ford, Loyal Fan
If all else fails and Ford can’t land a meaningful role in the NFL, he will always be a football fan at heart. And hey, if even the NFL won’t take him or his money, there’s always the CFL. Right, Rob?
Share your favorite Rob Ford football moments with us on Twitter, Facebook and Google Plus, and check out the sportsbook for lines and odds for all the NFL teams that will surely be vying for Ford’s services in the offseason.
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